


When you’re falling in love, you never notice it until you’ve already hit the ground

by oddlyfamiliar



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Everyone Thinks They're Together, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Idiots in Love, Romance, Set post season 11, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 14:01:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7979269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddlyfamiliar/pseuds/oddlyfamiliar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Hotch's father-in-law suddenly dies, Penelope starts to wonder about how close Hotch and JJ are getting...</p>
<p>(In which literally everyone except JJ and Hotch realizes how they feel about each other.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <i>[A Season 12 AU that was started before everything offscreen hit the fan.]</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	When you’re falling in love, you never notice it until you’ve already hit the ground

**Author's Note:**

  * For [magnessina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnessina/gifts).



> I originally started this way before all the ~drama occurred on set, but I've tried to make it fit what may be coming up in Season 12 anyway. 
> 
> The amazing [magnessina](http://archiveofourown.org/users/magnessina/) read through this for me, but any remaining mistakes are all my own.
> 
> When you’re falling in love, you never notice it until you’ve already hit the ground - Terry Mark.

“Poor Hotch,” Emily mutters, her eyes glancing up at his office. “Is he doing okay?”

The question wasn’t particularly directed at anyone, but Penelope’s aware that they all turn slightly towards JJ and expect her to answer. JJ’s always been close to Hotch; partly due to how they used to work together when she was the team’s media liaison, partly due to the fact that their kids are practically glued at the hip, and partly due to just who they are as people. From the second she started on the team, JJ had been able to break down some of Hotch’s walls that the others hadn't even realized existed. 

“He’ll be okay; he’s mostly trying to make sure that Jack’s coping with losing his grandad. And obviously he’s trying to look out for Jess, too,” JJ answers, her eyes focused on the open blinds to Hotch’s office, watching him while he paces around the desk, his movements limited by the range of his desk phone. Pen isn’t sure who he’s on the phone to, but she assumes he’s been helping Jessica with the arrangements for the funeral tomorrow; as far as she’s aware, Haley’s mom had died years ago and aside from Jessica, there aren’t many left in the Brooks family.

“How’s Jack doing?” Reid asks, again turning to JJ for the answer.

“He’s a strong kid. Henry’s been spending a lot of time with him, trying to keep him occupied. I’m hoping it’ll help for them to be together tomorrow.”

Pen arches an eyebrow at that. “Henry’s going to the funeral?”

“Yeah,” JJ nods, her attention still on Hotch; she hasn’t looked at the rest of the team yet, her eyes seem to be glued to their leader. “We’re heading down with Hotch and Jess; hopefully we can give them some moral support.”

Pen glances at Emily, their eyes meeting across the kitchenette table and clearly communicating their questions to each other, but it’s Tara who speaks up this time. “I didn’t realize you knew Hotch’s father-in-law that well?”

JJ finally looks at the team for a moment. “I wouldn’t say I knew him _well_ , but I saw him a lot more often after he moved in with Jess; sometimes at her place and sometimes at Hotch’s. And I know that Jack wants Henry there with him, they’re pretty much best friends lately,” Pen watches as JJ flicks her gaze back up to Hotch’s office, a small smile on her face, “I wanna make sure that Hotch and Jess are okay, too. You all know that Hotch is gonna be so focused on making sure she’s okay, that he won’t even _think_ about looking after himself. So Michael and I are going to tag team them both and keep them distracted.”

Pen watches, her mind whirling at the casual way JJ drops that not only has she been to Hotch’s apartment at least a few times, for presumably non-work related reasons, but she’s also been to his sister-in-law’s place. She figures it must be related to the kids; maybe Jess had been looking after all of them sometimes, but she can’t help feeling like there’s something else going on. She’s noticed that JJ has been acting differently ever since the attack on Hotch had led to several serial killers escaping their prisons; a little more withdrawn, a little quieter, but every time Pen has asked her about it, JJ just says that she’s tired. There’s clearly _something_ that Pen’s missing, something going on with JJ, but she’s just not sure what. And she has a feeling that it’s something to do with Hotch, too.

Suddenly, JJ stands up, her eyes still focused on Hotch’s office, so Pen glances over and sees that Hotch is off the phone now. JJ starts walking towards the stairs before she half turns back to the rest of the team, “I’m just going to check that everything’s okay.”

They all sit in silence while JJ walks straight into Hotch’s office, without even knocking, and then they turn to each other. As one, Reid, Tara, and Emily all turn to her.

“Did I miss something while I was in London?” Emily says.

“You missed a lot of things, buttercup,” Pen stalls, not sure exactly what they’re asking her, but knowing that she has questions of her own.

Emily rolls her eyes and then nods her head up towards Hotch’s office. “With those two. I’ve noticed them acting weird ever since I came back. Did JJ and Will get divorced and everyone forgot to tell me?”

“No, they’re still--” Reid begins, before cutting himself off. He pauses for a moment, frowning in deep thought. “Can anyone remember the last time JJ mentioned Will?”

Pen wracks her memory. The last few times she was at JJ’s, Will hadn’t been there. And she couldn’t remember seeing any of his things around. And she couldn’t even remember the last time Henry had talked about his dad.

Tara frowns. “She’d tell us though, surely? If something had happened; if they’d split.”

“She didn’t tell us that they were dating until they’d been together nearly a year,” Pen mutters. She feels oddly hurt. They’re so much closer now than back then; she’s the godmother to both of JJ’s kids. Surely she’d have at least told one of her best friends if she’d split up with her husband.

“Someone please tell me that I’m not the only one that’s noticed how close those two are, though?” Emily glances up at Hotch’s office as she speaks, and they all turn their heads in unison to look in the same direction. Pen watches as JJ steps close to Hotch, way closer than Hotch usually lets people get to him, and she can just see JJ’s hand come up to rest on his arm. They do look awfully comfortable with each other. But that doesn’t necessarily mean anything, and Pen is trying desperately not to jump to conclusions, no matter how giddy she suddenly feels at the thought of them getting together. It’s immediately followed by a wave of guilt; as far as they know, JJ’s still married. And Pen _likes_ Will. Even though she knows that he and JJ have been fighting again, he’s a good dad and he seems to love JJ, and that’s enough for Pen to think he’s okay. So she’s not sure why she’s suddenly so delighted by the thought of JJ leaving her husband and hooking up with their boss.

“They’ve always been close,” Reid says. “And Jack and Henry hang out together all the time, so I’m guessing that JJ and Hotch have just been spending more time together too? It might just be a coincidence that JJ hasn’t mentioned Will in a while; we’re just jumping to conclusions.”

Pen knows Reid is probably right. But she can’t stop thinking about the fact that the last time she can remember JJ talking about Will, about their relationship at all, is when she’d turned up in Pen’s office late one night, just after they’d finished dealing with Hotch being arrested, virtually on the edge of tears. She’d tried to get JJ to talk about it, but all she’d said was that they were fighting and she needed somewhere to escape and not think about it for a while. So Pen had entertained her with some CCTV footage of Anderson awkwardly trying to flirt with Gina in the kitchenette that she’d stumbled across a few hours previously while doing her regular checks on the team. And that’s the last time she can remember JJ even mentioning Will’s name.

Henry has barely mentioned his dad since that night, too.

There’s definitely something going on, and Pen is going to get to the bottom of it.

\---&\---

Pen keeps an eye on them both over the next few days, especially after the funeral, but nothing else seems amiss. She resists the urge to snoop further into their lives by checking on Will’s bank account, desperate to know if he’s still around. And she also doesn’t check to see whether or not JJ and Will are still legally married. It’s close, but she’s determined to try not to overstep too many boundaries. Yet.

But she’s pretty certain that there’s something funky going on, because JJ keeps disappearing for hours on end, and whenever anyone asks Hotch about it, he just says that she had a meeting or an appointment or something had come up. He never gives details, and Pen is convinced that he knows what’s going on with JJ, but he’s keeping it private. Which, in a way, she completely understands. She knows how private JJ is, and also how private Hotch is, and if she was in the loop on this then she’d definitely agree with not breaking any confidences… but she isn’t, so now she’s just frustrated about the fact that there’s obviously something going on and she has no idea what.

Pen is fairly certain that Emily and Tara both agree with her that something isn’t right. Reid just keeps saying they’re jumping to conclusions, but Pen is convinced. In fact, she needs to check in with them, see if they’ve been able to spot anything going on over the last few days; as much as she loves her office and the privacy it affords her, it does mean that she misses a lot of the things that happen out in the bullpen.

She grabs some files that she needs to give to Tara anyway, and heads down the corridor towards the bullpen. Before she can turn the corner to walk in through the doors though, she spots JJ by the elevators holding Michael. Pen has no idea what makes her pause, but there’s something about the look on JJ’s face that makes her stop in her tracks and step closer to the wall, just tucked in far enough that it’s unlikely that JJ would spot her. Pen can see that JJ is talking to someone as she’s rocking her son, but she can’t quite see who. A sudden look of relief and gratitude crosses JJ’s face and Pen watches as JJ hands over the diaper bag from her shoulder and then passes her son over to the person she’d been talking to. When they step forward to take Michael’s weight, Pen can suddenly see that it’s Hotch, and her suspicious mind goes into overdrive. She watches as JJ rests her hand on Hotch’s upper arm, clearly thanking him for something, before she leans forward to press a kiss to her son’s head. JJ hesitates for a second before she leans up to press a quick kiss to Hotch’s cheek, then Pen watches as JJ practically flees into the elevator that has just opened up in front of her.

Well. There’s _definitely_ something going on.

She watches as Hotch looks a little stunned before Michael grabs at his chin, and suddenly all his focus is on the giggling baby in his arms. He turns around and starts to walk towards the bullpen, and Pen sees her chance. He’s clearly off his guard, both because of JJ’s obviously unexpected kiss and because he’s focused on Michael, so Pen hopes she’ll be able to start getting some answers. She hurries towards him and reaches him before he can get the door open.

“Morning, sir,” she beams at him, before grabbing the door to hold it open for him.

“Thanks, Garcia; good morning to you, too,” he mutters, clearly distracted by Michael grabbing at his face again until he offers his own hand up as sacrifice for Michael to wrap his tiny little fingers around.

“How come you’ve got the little munchkin with you, where’s JJ?” Pen questions, only slightly thrown off her investigation by how adorable Hotch is with Michael.

“Oh, she uh, had an unexpected appointment come up, so she asked me if I could take Michael down to the daycare when it opens in half an hour,” he evades, clearly trying to be vague.

Pen just walks in step with him for a second or two, before she pushes again. “Couldn’t Will watch him at home?”

It’s only because she’s so focused on watching his reaction that she notices the slight tick in his jaw, but that’s the only sign that he’s bothered by the question. “He’s not available.”

Pen is about to follow up and prod him a little further, see what else she can get out of him, but Michael lets out a loud squeal and giggle when Hotch tickles his tummy, and Pen can’t control her giddiness at how cute they look together. Hotch uses her distraction to escape quickly into his office, but she’s more determined than ever to get to the bottom of this.

\---&\---

A little over an hour later, JJ hurries back into the bullpen, her eyes searching through the window of Hotch’s office to see if he’s in there with Michael. She’d stopped by the daycare after her meeting to check up on him, but they said that Hotch hadn’t brought him down yet. She can’t see him at his desk, but he might be on the other side of the room, so she makes her way up there anyway. She opens the door quickly and steps in, before she realizes that Hotch is sprawled across his sofa, an open file in one hand, and her son spread out across his chest. Michael is clearly fast asleep and has a firm grip on Hotch’s tie, the end of it tucked just inside his mouth, with Hotch’s hand resting against his back.

She can’t stop the grin that breaks out across her face at the sight. Her heart feels like it could burst; she hadn’t realized how stressed and wrong she’d been feeling thanks to this final meeting with Will until she can see one of her sons again, and the relief and sheer sense of _rightness_ sweeps over her.

“Hey,” Hotch says softly, trying not to wake Michael up. He drops the file onto the small table in front of him and gently shifts so he can sit upright, leaving a space on the sofa for her to sit down.

“Hey yourself,” JJ smiles as she sits down close to him, her hand automatically reaching out to stroke gently against her sleeping son’s head. “Has he been okay?”

“He was fussing a little at first, but as soon as I laid down with him he was out like a light. I didn’t want to wake him back up by trying to get him downstairs, so I thought I should just let him rest,” Hotch strokes his hand down Michael’s back, keeping him steady as he shifts a little in his sleep. JJ can’t help but notice that holding a baby suits him. She remembers how gentle he was with Jack when he was a baby, and he clearly hasn’t lost his touch. Michael hasn’t been sleeping well at all lately, all the upheaval at home and stress that JJ has been carrying has clearly been rubbing off on both him and Henry. She’s glad that he feels comfortable enough with Hotch to sleep as peacefully as he is right now. She’s startled out of her thoughts by Hotch speaking again. “How did things go with Will?”

“It’s all final now, so at least it’s over,” she says, still watching her son. She’s not sure why, but she can’t look at Hotch right now. “He’s moving in with her, apparently; wants to know if she can be included in their visitation time.”

Hotch’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. She imagines she had the same expression when Will had mentioned it a few hours ago. “What did you say? They’ve only been together a short time, haven’t they?”

“He finally admitted that it started about a month after… y’know,” she gestures vaguely with her hand, knowing that he’ll understand when she’s talking about. She’s already told him that the fights with Will had started back up in earnest after they’d half-prevented the escape of several serial killers six months earlier, and that their marriage had broken down quickly and painfully. He doesn’t know all the details, though. She hasn’t been able to tell him what they were fighting about yet; she knows that he’ll blame himself, and he already feels guilty for enough things that aren’t his fault. Plus, he’s been trying so hard to repair the damage done to his relationship with Jack when the SWAT team had broken down his door, that she can’t put this burden on him too.

“I’m sorry, JJ,” he rests his hand against her shoulder, shifting Michael’s weight slightly on his chest so he stays balanced.

“It’s okay, I hadn’t… I hadn’t been in love with him for awhile. It took me a long time to realize that, but once I did it was… less painful,” she admits. “I’m going to have to take you up on that offer you made yesterday, though; I need to reduce my travel for awhile so I can get the boys settled to a new routine without their dad around.”

“Of course. And Jessica has already offered to help out if you need it; she loves having all the boys together, and I think it’s helping to keep her mind off her dad,” Hotch murmurs while he strokes down Michael’s back again, and JJ feels a strange urge to curl up and rest her head on his chest alongside her son to see if Hotch is as comfortable as he seems to be. She hasn’t been sleeping much lately either, and she could really do with the rest.

JJ manages to stop herself from leaning into him, and instead she smiles when she thinks about how great Jess has been. “God, she’s amazing. I don’t want to take advantage of her though, she’s already done so much to help out with Henry and I know she already has her hands full with work and helping you with Jack.”

“Actually she’s been thinking about reducing her hours at work, or maybe working from home. Roy left her some money and between that, what I pay her, and what she could make doing part time hours, she’s pretty sure she could get by comfortably.”

“Really?” JJ can feel a little tendril of hope uncurl deep down in her stomach. “I could pay as well, obviously, but I don’t want her to feel like she’s obligated or anything.”

“I’ll talk to her later, if you like; see how she feels about it? But I’m pretty certain that she’d jump at the chance; she loves Henry and Michael, so if she had an excuse to see them a lot more then I’m sure she’d be happy with that.”

“Yeah, that’d be great. God, if she was able to do that then I think I might be able to actually make this work,” JJ sighs in relief and leans against the sofa, her arm resting along the back and propping up her head as she turns her body towards them both. “I was considering asking my mom to move in with me, so that she could look after Henry and Michael when we’re away on cases and they’re not with Will. Or... I was going to have to look for another department to work in.” She can’t look at Hotch when she admits that part. The thought of possibly having to leave has been killing her, and it would have been a particular stroke of irony, given what her fights with Will had mostly been about.

Hotch is silent for a moment, and JJ watches out of the corner of her eye as he carefully avoids her gaze and instead stares down at her son before he speaks. “If it means keeping you here with us, with the team, then I’ll do everything I can to make something work, JJ. I know how much this means to you, so I’m not letting you go again.”

JJ blinks back the tears she can feel building and tries to distract herself from the onslaught of emotions by running the palm of her hand over Michael’s head, smiling as he shifts in his sleep until one of his tiny little hands is reaching up to press against Hotch’s face. She glances up at Hotch, their eyes meeting for a second. “Thank you,” she whispers.

A throat clearing from the doorway snaps her attention away from Hotch, and she automatically shifts away from him and moves forwards on the sofa. Spence shifts on his feet a little as he stands in the open doorway, and he just looks at JJ for a second before shifting his focus to Hotch. “Garcia wondered if you guys were ready for the morning review meeting yet?”

Hotch glances at Michael and then JJ, before he shifts to the edge of the sofa, clearly getting ready to stand. “Tell her we’ll be there in a minute, Reid. Can you gather everyone in the conference room?”

Reid just watches them both for another second, a frown crossing his face for a second before he nods and walks out without saying anything else. Hotch stands up and carefully removes his tie from Michael’s mouth as her son starts to wake up.

JJ follows his lead and stands up, not sure why she feels so strange about the way Spence was looking at them. She ignores the feeling and reaches out to take her son from Hotch. “I’m just going to take him down to the daycare, I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?”

Hotch just nods and passes him over to her, before he looks down at his damp tie. “I should probably change this before the meeting,” he says with a wry smile, but JJ winces all the same.

“Sorry, he’s got a thing about putting things in his mouth right now. I’ll buy you a new one.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s fine. I went through plenty of ties when Jack was younger, although he preferred to draw on them. With permanent marker.”

JJ just grins at him before shifting Michael in her arms so she can lean down and grab his diaper bag. “See you in there in a few minutes.” He nods at her and moves over to his desk, so JJ leaves quickly, heading towards the elevators on the far side of the bullpen. Her attention is drawn to the windows of the conference room for a second as she sees Garcia suddenly flail her arms at someone, but she doesn’t pay much attention to what’s going on because Michael starts fussing. He’s clearly not happy that he’s awake again, so JJ presses a kiss to his head and moves a little faster towards the elevators.

\---&\---

“Are you serious?” Pen tries to keep her voice quiet, but she can’t stop herself from flailing at Reid. She knows she needs to get as much information from him as she can before everyone else arrives in the conference room and they have to stop gossiping.

Reid just nods, frowning. “There was definitely _something_ between them. Michael was curled up on Hotch’s chest and JJ was practically pressed up against his side, and I swear if I hadn’t walked in, it looked like they were going to kiss. There was a lot of… _tension_ between them. I don’t even know if they realized it, though. It was weird.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it,” Pen whispers, her mind racing as she tries to decide whether it’s appropriate to start snooping for more info yet. Maybe she could offer to look after Henry for a few hours and lightly interrogate him…

“I know. I never thought JJ would be the kind of person to cheat-- wait,” Reid interrupts himself but then goes completely silent for a few seconds.

“What?” Pen urges, trying to get him to think out loud instead of inside his genius brain where she can’t hear what’s going on.

Reid just turns and looks back towards Hotch’s office, clearly still deep in thought. “She wasn’t wearing her wedding ring.”

\---&\---

Aaron changes his tie quickly and walks out of his office, his eyes sweeping through the bullpen and over to the conference room as he checks on the location of his team members. It looks as though everyone except JJ is already waiting around the table. He knows it won’t take her long to get Michael settled at the daycare, so he heads down the stairs and towards the kitchenette to get a coffee while they wait for her. Given the day she’s had so far he figures she could probably do with some caffeine, so he starts making her a drink too.

Just as he’s finished and about to carry their drinks into the conference room, she appears at his side. “Oh, is that for me?” JJ asks as he holds the drink out to her.

“Figured you could use it,” he smiles gently, and tries not to laugh at how eagerly she grabs the drink.

“I think I’m going to tell the team today. About Will,” JJ says quietly as they walk together towards the stairs that lead up to their waiting colleagues. “I feel a little guilty about not telling them before, but I just needed to get everything over with without having to answer their questions, too.”

Aaron just nods at her. He understands why she kept it to herself; after all, if he hadn’t been served the papers while he was at work, he probably wouldn’t have revealed the problems in his marriage to the rest of the team. Except JJ of course, but she’d already known by that point anyway. She’d been on the receiving end of some very sharp comments from Haley, so there was no way to hide it from her. He fleetingly wonders why JJ confided in him about the problems she had been having with Will, but he figures that she knew he could relate, and leaves it at that. “Do you want to tell them at the beginning or end of the meeting?”

JJ exhales loudly, obviously nervous. “Beginning. Let’s get it over with.”

He nods at her again and moves to the side to let her walk through the door first, placing a comforting hand to the small of her back to let her know that he’s right behind her. She turns slightly to look at him over her shoulder, and the small smile she gives him reassures him that she’ll be able to do this.

JJ walks over to stand behind one of the two remaining seats around the table and waits while Aaron takes a seat next to her. He watches as she takes a deep breath, and the rest of the team falls silent; it’s obvious she has something she needs to say. He takes the brief opportunity to glance around the table at the team and he’s surprised to see Garcia watching him and not JJ. She has a look of concentration on her face and Aaron isn’t sure why he suddenly feels like he’s being scrutinized by her. It only lasts a second before she smiles at him then turns to give her full attention to JJ, but he still feels a little off-kilter because of it.

He turns to look up at JJ as she clears her throat. “I have an announcement before we start…” she trails off slightly as she looks up from the table to see everyone staring at her. Aaron knows that she’s faced down serial killers and bloodthirsty reporters, but it’s very different when she’s revealing something so personal. She’s always been intensely private and she hates having to reveal any kind of perceived weakness. Even though he firmly believes she has no reason to blame herself for the divorce, he knows that she’ll feel guilty about it anyway. He gives her a gentle, encouraging smile when she turns to him for support, and he can see her gather her resolve. “Will and I are no longer together. Our divorce was finalized today.”

There’s a few seconds of silence as the team take that in, but Dave recovers first. “Are you okay?”

JJ nods her head at him before addressing them all. “Yeah, I’m fine. And so are the boys. It was for the best.”

Aaron catches a look that passes between Garcia, Prentiss, and Lewis, but before he can try to work out what that means, Garcia speaks up. “You know we’re here for you right, buttercup? Whatever you need.”

JJ smiles and moves to sit down in her seat, a clear signal that she’s said everything she intends on saying. Before anyone else can start questioning her or make any further comments, Aaron picks up the tablet in front of him. “Okay Garcia, let’s start reviewing the case files.”

\---&\---

The meeting only takes an hour, but it feels like one of the longest hours of JJ’s life. She can feel the weight of their stares as they all watch her, looking for any indication about what actually happened. She knows that they mean well. They’re her friends and she loves them all, but this is the exact reason why she hadn’t told them earlier. JJ can feel herself bristling under the attention and just as she thinks she might snap and say something, she feels warm fingers press against the back of her hand where it’s resting against her thigh. She tries not to jump at the feeling, and glances at Hotch out of the corner of her eye. He’s giving no indication to anyone else that his fingers are resting against hers under the table, but it’s enough to bring her out of her mood.

She knows that he’s there for her. He’s been supporting her all the way through this, and she’s honestly not sure if she’d have made it this far with her sanity mostly intact without him. A tiny smile crosses her face as she ducks her head to look down at the tablet in front of her, before she turns her hand over underneath his and laces their fingers together for a second. She gives his hand a quick squeeze and then let’s go, almost disappointed for a second when he takes his hand away.

He calls the meeting to an end soon after that, and JJ can see Pen looking like she’s going to start up a conversation, but JJ isn’t sure if she’s up to that yet. She throws a quick glance at Hotch, hoping he’ll pick up on her discomfort, and she’s relieved when he gives her an almost imperceptible nod.

“JJ, I need to go through a few things with you in my office, please,” Hotch says as he stands, effectively dismissing everyone else, and JJ quickly follows him out of the room without looking back at any of the team. He slows slightly as they walk towards his office so that she can match his stride, but they don’t say anything until he opens the door for her and allows her to walk through before him.

JJ sits down heavily on the sofa, leans her head against the back and focuses on deep breaths in and out, trying to let the tension leave her frame. She closes her eyes and can hear the soft click of the door closing, then the shift of the sofa beneath her as he sits next to her. “I think that went okay. Not as bad as I feared,” JJ says, tilting her head towards him and opening her eyes again. He’s closer than she expected, but that doesn’t bother her. It never has; they’ve always been comfortable in each other’s space. It’s probably one of the reasons why they’ve always worked well together.

“They’re going to ask questions sooner or later, you know.” It’s not a question, but JJ can hear the unspoken concern about whether or not she’s okay with that.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t know how much I want to tell them though,” she admits.

There’s a pause while Hotch clearly tries to decide whether or not to ask the question she knows he’s been dying to ask. It only lasts a few seconds before he makes his mind up. “You’ve never told me what you were fighting about with him.”

JJ can’t stop the small, wry smile from crossing her face. Even now he still hasn’t technically asked. But she knows she needs to tell him something. She just doesn’t think she can tell him _everything_ , though.

She shifts in her seat so that she’s facing him and takes a few steadying breaths. “He wanted me to quit. Again.”

“He was still fighting with you about that?” Hotch looks stunned, as though he hadn’t imagined Will could still be stuck on that old fight. “Did he never figure out how stubborn you are? The more he pushed about that, the more likely you’d be to stay.”

JJ huffs a laugh at how well he knows her. At how well her husband, _ex_ -husband, apparently _didn’t_. “It wasn’t just about that, although it was a big part,” JJ admits, before realizing she’s going to have to explain that comment. “He thought I was cheating on him, too.”

Now Hotch really does look stunned. “He didn’t know you at all, did he?”

It warms her, deep down, that he’s so certain of her. That he knows she would never betray someone like that. It means a lot to her that he thinks so highly of her, but it also makes her gut twist a little. How could her boss just _know_ her, and yet her husband not have a clue? Had she really been so different with Will that he didn’t know who she was?

JJ rubs her thumb against the base of her ring finger, still unused to the skin there being exposed. She’d taken the ring off a few days ago, but it hadn’t really felt real until this morning. “He said that was what drove him to her. That he knew I was cheating on him, and he needed someone who would be there for _him_.”

Hotch is shaking his head, clearly agitated by Will’s attempts at justifying his own infidelity. “Did he accuse you of cheating with anyone specifically?”

_You_ , JJ thinks. “No,” she says. Will had run through all of the guys on the team before settling on Hotch as the likely culprit. No matter what she had said or done, he was utterly convinced that there was something between her and Hotch. But the thought of admitting that to Hotch makes her squirm. JJ has no idea why; it’s not as though anything ever has happened between them, but she just can’t bring herself to tell him that.

There must have been something slightly off with her tone, because Hotch just watches her for a second and JJ almost thinks he’s about to question her response, but then he seems to change his mind and drops the issue. Instead, he stands up and heads over to sit behind his desk. “You’re welcome to hideout in here as long as you need to. Just, y’know, let me know if I need to get an emergency stash of cheetos hidden away in my drawer for you or something.”

JJ grins at him, but stands up as well. “I should get back to my desk. I have to face them all sooner or later; I just needed a few minutes after the meeting, that’s all.”

He nods at her and gives her a brief smile before he picks up some of the paperwork on his desk, clearly intent on making a start on his workload after being preoccupied with Michael all morning. JJ walks over to the door and hesitates for a second before she has to open it and face the rest of the team. Just before she walks through the doorway, she catches the reflection in the window of Hotch watching her. It helps her feel oddly safe and grounded, knowing that he’s sat up here looking out for her.

\---&\---

“C’mon boys, are you nearly ready yet?” JJ fastens Michael’s shoes back on his feet, God only knows how he keeps wiggling them off, while she glances up towards the corridor leading to Jack’s room. They’d arrived at Hotch’s ten minutes earlier and the boys had immediately disappeared into Jack’s room. They should have left for the zoo five minutes ago but nothing she said seemed to be hurrying them up.

“Are they still not ready?” Hotch asks as he walks into the living room, a picnic bag slung over his shoulder as he walks over to the door and puts the bag down along with the rest of their stuff for the day.

“Nope. I have no idea what’s taking them so long, especially given that this trip was their idea in the first place,” JJ gripes before she looks over at Hotch for the first time since she arrived. “Hey, we match.”

Hotch looks down at his navy polo, jeans, and boots then over at her navy scoop-neck t-shirt, jeans, and boots. “I’m not sure if us dressing alike says something good about my fashion sense or something bad about yours…” he trails off, a grin on his face.

“Clearly it says that I’m starting to rub off on you,” JJ jokes. Hotch raises an eyebrow at her and it takes a second before she realizes how that could sound and she can’t stop the slight blush that heats her cheeks. “You know what I mean.”

JJ has been looking forward to this trip all week, ever since the boys mentioned it during their picnic together at the park last Sunday. Henry and Jack have been requesting that they spend practically every weekend together, so whenever she and Hotch aren’t on a case, and whenever Henry and Michael aren’t with Will, they’ve been coming up with things for them to all do together. This week is the zoo, last week had been the picnic, and two weeks before that had been an impromptu soccer game that ended with all of the boys, Hotch and Michael included, teaming up against her. JJ can’t help but smile at the memory, they still hadn’t been able to beat her, and her smile widens when she catches Hotch grinning at her.

A sudden knock at the door has them both confused. JJ looks at Hotch to see if he’s expecting anyone, but the way his hand automatically goes for the gun that isn’t actually attached to his hip tells her that he has no idea who has turned up to his apartment either. He moves towards his gun safe while JJ moves towards the door, years of working alongside each other allowing them to plan the manoeuvre without speaking. Before she can make it to the door though, both Jack and Henry come hurtling out of Jack’s room and sprint towards it.

“It’s okay mom, it’s only Jessica,” Henry pants as they run by her, and JJ is even more confused than before. She glances back at Hotch who has stopped walking over to the gun safe, but still looks as confused as she feels. He shrugs his shoulders at her; he obviously has no idea why Jess would be here this morning either.

Jack reaches the door and lifts up on his tiptoes to check through the peephole, before flinging the locks and door open. “Hey aunt Jess!”

“Hey honey, are you boys nearly ready to go?” Jess steps into the apartment and grins at both Jack and Henry, before looking up towards JJ and Hotch. “It looks like it’s gonna be a great day for the zoo.”

“Boys…?” Hotch looks to them both for an answer as he steps closer to JJ, and she’s fully aware that they both look a little guilty.

Henry just turns his big blue eyes up at her, a move she knows he’s copying after watching her do the same thing to try to convince Hotch of something, and smiles hesitantly. “We thought it might be nice if Jess took us to the zoo today so you and Jack’s dad can spend some time together.”

Jack walks over to pick Michael up off the sofa, her son’s weight a little too much for him to handle for long, but Jess soon takes him out of his hands. Jack reaches into his back pocket and takes out a slightly crumpled envelope and passes it to his dad. “That’s for you both to read,” he says before nudging Henry to pick up a bag by the door.

JJ watches in a confused daze as Jess gets Michael to wave goodbye to them before they’re all suddenly gone out of the door, and she and Hotch are stood alone in the middle of his apartment. “What the hell just happened?” JJ turns to Hotch, but he’s just looking down at the envelope in his hands.

“I have no idea, but I’m assuming this will explain things?” Hotch gestures to the envelope and he flips it over to open it up. JJ steps closer to him, brushing against his arm slightly so that she can read it at the same time.

_Dad and Miss JJ,_

_Me and Henry (and Michael!) are okay with you and Miss JJ dating. You don’t need to hide it from us any more. We know you’re worried about our reaction but we just want to be like a normal family._

_We’re going to ask Aunt Jess to take us out somewhere for the day because she says that you need to be able to spend grown up time together too._

_Love,  
Jack, Henry and Michael_

JJ can feel herself blush, her cheeks and chest going suddenly hot, and she watches as Hotch drops the letter onto the dining room table.

“I… I didn’t, I mean… I don’t know what to say,” JJ is utterly speechless. Hotch looks the same. They’re both just staring at each other, neither quite knowing what to do or say.

She thinks back over their interactions with each other lately and wonders how the kids could have thought-- except, no. Now that she’s really thinking about it, she can completely see what they’ve been doing. They’ve been building a family together and _god_ how did she not see this before? She’s always known that Hotch is attractive and that he would, in theory, be an amazing guy to be with, but when they first met he was married and so she just automatically put him in a box in her mind with a ‘do not touch’ label on it. Except… maybe she’s been wanting to touch him all along. She immediately feels guilty when she thinks back to Will and how insistent he was that there was something going on between her and Hotch; had he been able to pick up on this before she had?

“JJ… what are you thinking?” Hotch seems to be so much closer to her than before, but she hasn’t seen him step closer. Maybe she stepped towards him. She doesn’t know, she just knows that he’s looking at her and she’s looking at him and _maybe_ …

“I don’t know…” JJ trails off, her feet shuffling her forward another step until she’s practically pressed against him. She can’t stop looking at his lips, and there’s a feeling of anticipation low down in her belly. There’s a fleeting second of recognition; that this isn’t the first time she’s felt like this around him, but she doesn’t get the chance to explore the thought because suddenly they’re kissing and it’s like everything makes sense.

She tips forward on her toes, pressing herself against his chest while she loops her arms around his neck and kisses him back. JJ can feel him wrap his arms around her waist, tugging her flush against his body and _fuck_ she’s already so turned on. It’s like she’s been struck by lightning; the hot flash that runs through her is pure electricity. She can feel the heat pooling low down and she’s suddenly desperate for him. She opens her mouth against his, tilting her head and licking his bottom lip and just like that the kiss turns filthy and frantic. He slides his tongue against hers and she can feel the twitch of his dick getting hard against her belly.

Hotch moans into her mouth as she runs her fingers through his hair and scratches her nails against his scalp, and she shifts her body against his, trying to get closer somehow. He bites gently at her bottom lip before sucking it briefly into his mouth, then breaks the kiss to lick and suck hard at the skin stretched over her jaw, right where it meets her neck. JJ’s head lolls back and a strangled gasp of approval breaks free of her throat. She can’t stop herself from writhing against him, loving the feel of his erection pressing hard against her. Just knowing that she can cause that reaction in him is turning her on so much.

JJ lifts her knee to wrap her leg around his hip, trusting that he’ll keep her balanced, but needing to feel him against her. He surprises her though by dropping his hands down to grip her ass, squeezing hard and then lifting her off the ground slightly. He walks her backwards a few steps and then deposits her on the edge of the dining table, crowding in close to her, using his hips to spread her thighs apart until he’s rutting against her. He moves back to her mouth and his tongue slides against hers, fucking her mouth in an imitation of what he could be doing to her right now, and JJ’s head is swimming. God, how did she never realize before what he does to her?

Just the knowledge that this is _Hotch_ that’s making her feel like this amplifies the feeling ten-fold. It feels like this is so sudden and yet a tiny voice in the back of her mind admits that this has been building for at least a decade. She could just melt in his arms right now, and all she wants is to have him inside her so bad. She almost feels like she's going into shock; her fingertips are tingling and there's a ringing in the back of her head, except Hotch suddenly pulls his mouth away from her with a muttered curse. He pulls his cell out of his pocket and slides his thumb against the screen and _oh_. It wasn't in her head. There was an actual ringing.

“Hotchner,” he answers, and JJ smirks a little at how hoarse his voice sounds. There’s a moment of silence before Hotch speaks again, and judging by his expression, they must have a case. “Contact the rest of the team, we’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

He ends the call and drops his phone onto the table near her hip before he leans forward to press his forehead to hers. She pulls his mouth towards her and drops a quick kiss on his lips. “It’s okay, we can pick this up later. We should really talk about all of this before we go any further, anyway.”

Hotch just looks into her eyes and nods, before he leans forward to kiss her again, his fingers sliding up to press against her waist. JJ can’t help but react to his touch and she tightens her thighs around his hips, dragging him closer to her. Despite the interruption, he’s still hard and JJ squirms against him as he shifts his hips against her, his erection trapped between them. It was clearly only supposed to be a relatively quick kiss but it escalates quickly, their tongues sliding together in desperation, and it’s not until JJ feels the vibration of her cell in her pocket that she even remembers they have a case. She barely manages to tear her mouth away from his long enough to answer it.

“Hey Garcia,” she rushes out, sounding a little more breathless than she intended to, but Hotch has started kissing down her neck and it’s sending jolts of pleasure down low into her belly.

“Hey buttercup, I’m so sorry to interrupt your day off with Henry and Michael, but we have a case and Bossman wants everyone to come in,” Garcia says, and JJ really tries to pay attention but Hotch has started pressing teasing kisses across her collarbone and down her chest. When she doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, Garcia carries on. “Do you think you can get a last minute sitter for the boys? If not, I’m sure Hotch would be okay with them staying in my office for a while?”

JJ is so distracted by Hotch finally reaching the top of her breast and trying to tug her t-shirt to the side so he can reveal more of her skin, that she doesn’t think before she speaks. “Oh it’s okay, Jessica has them. I’m sure she won’t mind keeping them while we’re dealing with this case.”

“Wait, why--” Garcia starts to question, but then she’s cut off as JJ lets out a loud gasp. Hotch has managed to tug her t-shirt and bra out of the way and is currently sucking hard on her nipple. “Jay, are you okay? What’s going on?”

“Everything’s fine Pen, I’ll see you in thirty!” JJ practically yells down the phone before hanging up and flinging her phone down on the table. “ _Fuck_ , Hotch,” she moans, “we have to go.”

“Mmmm,” he rumbles, his lips still sucking on her, and JJ has a fleeting moment where she considers not stopping him, but she knows that they’d both hate themselves if they did that. Neither of them can just ignore the fact that they have a case they need to focus on. Her resolve is almost broken when he arches against her and his erection rubs _just right_ across her clit, but she clutches a hand into his hair and pulls him off her before she can change her mind.

“C’mon, we can finish this later,” she whispers against his lips as she presses a final quick kiss against his still open mouth. “Go get your things and I’ll call Jess to see if she can keep the boys until we know what’s happening.”

Hotch sighs against her lips but he’s nodding in agreement with her plan. “Is your go bag already in your car?”

“Yeah, and my gun is in the glovebox safe, so we can go straight from here to the office.”

“Okay. I’ll be five minutes,” he says, pulling back so he can look into her eyes properly. “We should probably talk about this in the car?”

“Yeah, this… it feels sudden but also like it’s taken us years to get here, all at the same time?” JJ reveals, her eyes dropping down to the open collar of his polo shirt so she doesn’t have to maintain eye contact while she admits that.

“Hey,” Hotch says softly as he gently tilts her head back up so their eyes meet again, “I feel the same, JJ. This just… it feels right. Like we’ve been building towards this for a very long time, but we’ve only just realized it consciously. I mean, even the boys realized what we were doing before we did.”

JJ grins at that, but then blushes as she thinks about how oblivious she and Hotch have been. “They said that they wanted us to be a family. That’s… that’s what I want, too. What do you want?”

“You. Our boys. All of us together, as a family,” Hotch says softly as he tilts forward to press a kiss to her forehead. “Maybe we don’t need to have a big discussion about it. Let’s just take things from here and see where they go? We’ll need to tell Cruz, and we might need to make some changes at work, but it’s up to you who else we tell about us. If we need to… well, I’ve been getting a lot of offers lately, and I’ve been considering possibly stepping away from the bureau for Jack’s sake, so we have some options going forward.”

JJ frowns at him; the thought of him leaving the team doesn’t sit well with her, but she knows he’ll have put a lot of consideration into it before even mentioning it to her. “Let’s just play it by ear; see how Cruz reacts. I don’t want to hide anything from the team, but I also like the idea of us having some time to adjust to this before everyone knows. Don’t forget though, we work with some amazing profilers; we might not be able to hide this for long.”

“I’m okay with that if you are?” Hotch says, tugging on JJ’s hands to pull her forwards off the dining room table, so that she’s stood in front of him.

“Yeah, I’m really okay with that,” she says. Hotch grins, and JJ feels her stomach flip at how gorgeous he looks. He just looks so _happy_ and she did that. She put that expression on his face. JJ responds with a grin of her own, and nudges him towards the gun safe. “C’mon, we need to get moving. I think Pen is already suspicious about why the boys are all with Jessica when she thought I was taking them out today, so if we both turn up late and looking like we’ve had a heavy makeout session, then she’s definitely going to start interrogating us.”

“You’re the one who told her where they were,” Hotch teases, but he steps away from her and goes to collect his guns from the safe.

“Yeah, well you were distracting me at the time, so my brain wasn’t exactly paying attention to what I was saying,” JJ fires back, and she doesn’t miss the heated look he sends her in response. “Stop looking at me like that or we’ll never make it out the door.”

She’s treated to a rare laugh as Hotch fastens the holster to his hip. “We’re definitely picking this back up later.”

JJ shivers slightly at the passion behind that promise, then goes to grab her things from the living area so they can get to the bureau on time. She has no idea what’s going to happen next, but for the first time in a long time, she’s looking forward to finding out.


End file.
